


Falling

by stxrkgazing



Series: Through All The Lives We Have [1]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Sherlock Holmes (Downey films)
Genre: Afterlife, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Angst, Gaining back memories, M/M, Memory Loss, Mutual Pining, Past Self, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-10-05 12:09:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20488664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stxrkgazing/pseuds/stxrkgazing
Summary: He wished he came sooner, remembered sooner.Even after being reborn again, he still couldn't meet him, could he?He would die missing him again.In which Yon Rogg remembered he was Watson but he came to earth after the last battle with Thanos.





	Falling

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first AO3 fic and I'm nervous because I barely know neither how to use AO3 nor writing in English. This is pure angst, so if you're in a mood for soft, I don't recommend this at all. I'm a bad bitch and I'm torturing myself now.
> 
> Edited: Thanks to Victoria Doran, the Russian version is available now! Check them up! [Падение](https://rdjude.diary.ru/p219297975.htm?oam#more1)

When he saw him throwing himself, pulling Moriarty along with him, he thought it was the end. The journey, the adventure, the snarks, the annoyance, the surprises, their story. His death had always been his fear, and it finally came true. Sooner or later, one of them would die. Didn’t everyone will? But not that soon, not that quick, and not in that way. Not when he just opened the door, their eyes locked into each other and as if giving a silent farewell, the other man just closed his eyes and leaped over the balcony, falling.

He rushed to the balcony, leaning over and looking down, wishing to see the detective pulled another surprise by hanging into something (it was a cliff, pure rocks and slippery, nothing to hold on). Nevertheless he saw nothing but snow and hard rocks. Or, if he was being honest, he did see something. A glimpse of two people falling and keep falling.

There was no pounding heart, there was no throbbing. In fact, his heart didn’t feel like beating anymore. He froze, gazing down until he really saw nothing. Yet, he waited for another minutes, even until half an hour. Wishing to see someone climbing up (it was impossible, how could anyone possibly survive such a fall), or someone poked his back and the annoyance continued. Until the party finished, no one came. From that moment, he knew it was over. Their journey had reached its end.

* * *

Having funeral without a body was the most painful one. There was no ‘last time meeting’ nor the chance to see that someone’s face for the last time. It felt almost like a lie, a play they made just because they couldn’t find his body nor didn’t he come home. He didn’t join the others on the main rows, instead he sat on the small bench in the corner of the room, near the altar.

As the priest led the mass, his thought wander to somewhere else. Either reminiscing or simply lost in his thoughts, thinking of any other probabilities that could have happen if they _knew_ more, if they _prepared_ more.

Did Holmes already predict this? Was this in his plan? Did he know this might happen and still proceeded with that plan? Or it was simply a dead end? Things could go wrong, out of predictions, even from Sherlock Holmes’.

_But may be I could save him if I came sooner. _

Could he, though?

* * *

The package gave him hope, and so did the mysterious question mark on his novel’s draft. Still, he had never seen him anymore. It felt like a brief dream, a sudden sparks of hope that quickly came and slowly died. Until he was waiting for his own deathbed, he still had that little hope in him. That the detective would show up out of nowhere, pulling one last surprise, giving one last annoyance (God, he missed the peculiar behaviors of him).

Still, he went away without getting any of those. Mary’s bitter smile was the only thing he saw before he breathed his last breath.

_He went into his deep eternity slumber missing him._

* * *

Holmes didn’t believe magic. Yon-Rogg bet that sociopath also didn’t believe reincarnation, after life, nor alternate universe. He had never thought all of those were possible. However, he also had always let a chance for the impossible.

“I have lied to you a lot, but this time please believe me, Carol. I have no other intention except meeting my best friend.” He said, determined and yet, fearful.

The blonde woman before him sent a raging gaze, and if look could kill he had to be dead since half an hour ago.

It was a bit long-short story. He didn’t gain his memories as doctor John Watson right away. He was Yon-Rogg for a long time, a loyal soldier to Kree, a man that was totally different from his previous self. Blinded by faith, people would say. He needed proof, needed to show that he was worthy enough, and did everything for Kree including taking the wrong path.

How long had he been an enemy of earth? How long had he been an enemy of other planets? Long enough to make things complicated, as now he had remembered his previous life and wanted to meet his best friend, he had to convince the Avengers first that there was no tricks under his sleeve. No one knew him but Carol Danvers, whom he had been lying to for the sake of Kree (or so he thought, back then. Not anymore, though). But that was more than enough.

He hadn’t catch up a lot of things in earth, but he knew Carol Danvers alias Captain Marvel had a position in the Avengers, earth’s mighties heroes. If she said no, and he insisted to stay, the other Avengers wouldn’t hesitate to secure him.

“You have no friend.” Carol said in a cold tone. He looked at her right into the eyes.

“No, not me in this universe. Not Yon-Rogg, but John Watson had a best friend and I was John Watson. I’m not making up stories, I just need to see him.”

“Why should I believe you?” Her hands started to glow.

“You shouldn’t.” He carefully replied. “I will take it as my fate for not being able to meet him anymore, even in another universe, another life time. I will stay back if you say no. But I will do anything to convince you, that I just want to see if he really was my ─”

_His? _

“If he really was Sherlock Holmes.” He continued after pausing for solid three seconds.

Carol looked at the tall broad man next to him, as if asking another opinion.

“I don’t know him,” Rhodey admitted. “But he can’t hurt Tones. If he’s about to do anything suspicious we can always kick his ass out. I think showing him the footage won’t do any harm.”

Carol averted his gaze to Yon-Rogg again. Taking a deep breath, she nodded. “Alright. We will show you a few footage of him.”

“From Hulk’s chamber.” Rhodey added, and seeing Yon-Rogg’s confused face, he cleared his throat and continued, “It’s an isolation room designed for someone that couldn’t control his temper and has super strength. In short, safe isolation room. Made from glass, so you’ll watch from there.”

“Not a problem.” Yon-Rogg nodded. “As I have said, I just want to see him.” Carol and Rhodey let him to the Hulk Chamber, and as he followed them, he looked out to the windows.

Truth to be told, he was thrilled when he gained all of his memories from his previous life. He thought this was another chance, a second chance to meet his partner, a reunion after death and a whole life time. He thought he finally could meet him again.

* * *

The first time he went back to earth, he saw a lot of murals and drawings of golden-red armors. Sometimes he also saw posters, plastered on windows or children and teenagers bringing them.

“Who is it?” he asked one of a teenage girl he met on the street.

“Iron Man.” The girl said, looking at the poster on his hand. “Earth’s best defender, you don’t know him?”

“I have a lot of things to catch up.” He excused. “Does he always get the murals and everything?”

The girl looked sad, and slowly shook her head. “He’s loved by many people, and actually there was this something like alien attack. A lot of us turned into dust, and the Avengers─ Iron Man was one of the Avengers─ died when trying to bring all of them who turned into dust back.”

A fallen hero, he thought.

“It was said the Avengers facility in upstate was damaged during the battle, so they were moving back temporarily into Stark Tower. May be now will be called Avengers Tower, I don’t know.”

“Stark Tower?” He arched his brow.

“You really have a lot of things to catch up, Old Man.” The girl made a face before smiling and showing him a small thin box, with monitor on it. “Here is the news.”

He didn’t really read the news, actually. He was stuck in time right when he saw the picture. Different hair style, and he had a very nice facial hair. But that brown locks, and those brown hazel bambi eyes, there was no way he wouldn’t recognize them and whose those belong to.

Holmes, he whispered in his mind.

“Is he─” He looked at the headline. It was painful to say it.

“Was he the Iron Man?”

The girl smiled, nodded. “Yeah, he was. And will always be, the one and only Iron Man, Tony Stark.”

There was no pounding heart, no throbbing. In fact, he didn’t feel like his heart was beating. It ached, his lungs seemed to be torn apart and for a few moments he forgot how to breathe.

“Can you show me where the Stark Tower is?” He managed to speak finally.

“Sure, I’ll give you the instruction.”

It was almost like he went back to that old time in the church. Like when he visited the grave without a body underneath. They were the same painful, and he wished for that line to be a lie.

_In memoriam Tony Stark. _

His chest crumbled on those words.

* * *

He stood behind the glass, watching the holograms in dead silence. It was nice to see his smiles again, to hear his laughter, and to listen to his snarks and jokes. It was nice to see him flying, knocking off the bad guys and─ just like his previous self, he was always predictive. Well, this one was a bit impulsive, but just by seeing the battle footage, including the debriefings and meetings, he knew that the other man always has back up plans in his mind.

Yon-Rogg could see the other man had always had further vision than the others. A futurist.

“So how is it?” Rhodey crossed his arms, staring at the man in the glass cage.

“He was Sherlock Holmes.” He answered almost automatically. “How did he die?”

“I’m sorry, but that was none of your─”

“Sherlock died by throwing himself over the balcony, where underneath lied sharp hard rocks cliff that no one could survive. He pulled our enemy with him, his gaze saying it was the only way. He sacrificed himself to kill that man. How─ How did Tony die?”

Rhodey seemed to sympathize with the other man, he knew very well how hard it was for seeing someone you love died without being able to do anything. Looking down slightly, he walked closer to the cage.

“Almost the same.” He said. “He died from snapping the Infinity Stones, sacrificing himself to turn Thanos and his armies into dust. The damage was too severe, nerves all burnt and he didn’t make it. But he died surrounded by his friends and family, so if that was what you were worried about, you don’t need to. I won’t say his death was peaceful, rather it was very painful. But at least, he wasn’t alone.”

At least he didn’t die alone with his enemy as the only companion, Yon-Rogg could hear the line in his mind.

He starred at the holograms again, watching the rest of the footage. He didn’t expect when Rhodey closed all of them, and suddenly Tony was sitting before him. It took one second until he realized it was another projection, the last message he prepared before the battle.

He had _predicted_ this.

He had _seen_ this coming.

And he proceeded with the plan.

Why had it always been like that?

He watched the last message with crumbled heart, trying his best to hold his tears and to keep reminding himself to breathe. He wished he remembered sooner. He wished he came sooner. He could have helped him, he didn’t get turned into dust. He wished everything to happen in a different way. He wished his fate wasn’t to watch him die, and then dying missing him.

Did even Tony remember him?

_Did even Sherlock remember him?_

* * *

Tony didn’t know how to use the stones. Heck, he didn’t even know what to do at first. But when he saw Strange raising his finger, he knew this was it. Was he supposed to be the one who snap? No, he didn’t know. But taking the stones from the Mad Titan was the top priority.

Without hesitation, Tony rushed to Thanos, reaching out to the gauntlet and struggled for a few moment before he was thrown away, hitting the ground hard. Thanos seemed to be feeling satisifed, he looked at his gauntlet on his right arm and then turned his gaze to him.

“I am inevitable.” The Mad Titan said, and then snapped.

But nothing happened. Nothing, because when he quickly turned the gauntlet, the stones weren’t there anymore.

Tony kneeled, raising his right arm as the stones attaching perfectly on his gauntlet, and he could feel the massive wave of powers ran into his vein, burning his nerves. It was painful. No, even painful couldn’t even describe it. But there was no way back, he needed to do this─ the fate of the rest of universes rest on his shoulder. This was the reason why he was born and kept alive.

_“Don’t waste your life.” _

To protect his world.

Pepper, Rhodey, Morgan, Peter, Happy, and _him_.

“And I. . .” he whispered. “Am Iron Man.”

After he snapped, everything turned into white. It felt like a sparks, a small explosion inside him, painful and taking all of his breaths. Slowly, his vision came back, and he saw Thanos and his armies were turning into dust. He did it.

With all the strengths he had left, he tried to get into the corner of ruins and sat there.

He didn’t remember much, actually. The pain made him barely could think, breath, let alone talk. When Peter crumbled onto him, he tried to send his messages through his gaze. That it wasn’t his fault, that it was okay, that it was worth it.

When Rhodey took him away, he wanted to tell how much he loved him, to thank him for staying by his side since the first time they met until this moment. To find someone who was a brother in all but blood wasn’t that easy. Meeting Rhodey was one of the best things in his life.

When Pepper knelt in front of him, he wanted to say sorry. That he didn’t make it for her and Morgan, that he made her nightmare came true, that he─he couldn’t protect her anymore. But Pepper smiled, telling him that everything would be okay, and they would be fine. Her smile was so beautiful, comforting, and everything Tony could hope for.

“Pep─” He wanted to tell how much he loved her and thanked her, for everything. She was a grace in his life.

Perhaps, dying this way wasn’t that bad. It was painful, a lot, even dead would be better rather than this dying part. Nevertheless, he was surrounded by people he loved. He was surrounded by his family, proof that he wasn’t alone. This was much better than dying alone with your greatest enemy.

This was better than _before_.

Tony could feel he was losing his consciousness. Soon, it wasn’t that long anymore.

He remembered, actually. About those journeys, adventures, stories, cases, and his smile. He remembered he was Sherlock Holmes, and he also remembered John Watson.

_His John Watson. _

Ever since he came out that cave with whole memories from the past, he had always been wondering who it was, who the Doctor John Watson in this world would be. For a moment he thought it could be Steve. But no, Watson wasn’t like that.

As much as the doctor tended to scold him, argue with him, and many other things (especially about his antiques), Watson had always understood him. John had always known him.

_He had never been against him. _

He still wander until this moment, though, when he was dying. Who was it. Who John would be. It felt weird when you loved and missed someone that you didn’t even know. Hence he couldn’t tell anyone, not even Rhodey or Pepper. Not even JARVIS. He had tried to search him, based on artificial face recognition based on his memories. Perhaps because it wasn’t the exact one, he couldn’t find him.

_Whatever._

As his breaths were getting slower, he thought.

_Did even John remember him?_

He still remembered when he said.

_“I miss you Holmes.”_

The voice still lingered in his head.

It felt weird, and had its own pain.

_He died missing him._

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think!
> 
> (Edited) Thank you for you all who have read, left feedback and given kudos! So the long and the short of it is that I decided to make a series for Watson!Yon-Rogg x Holmes!Tony. The next one won't be any better I think, but. . . well, I promise I will prepare a fluff Yon-Rogg/Tony later;)


End file.
